"Journal"

IV. White Curse of the Sirens 

Blessed with an eye to see things as they are, will you draw me?
Up there on the wall, looking down to us all, you never saw me...
I found a pen, and I outlined a life.
You've never cried, I think I saw a tear in your eye.

“Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
Than to harm the one I love”
What have you done now!

You took my heart
Deceived me right from the start
You showed me dreams
I wished they'd turn to real
You broke the promise
And made me realise
It was all just a lie

You may find me lying on some desert road.
My eyes wide open to the universe.
And what lies there, is just something I left behind.

Take my life if you have heart, heart to die!
You bastards tainted my tool
Raped my words, played me a fool
Gather your precious glitter and leave me be!
The Great Ones are all dead
And I'm tired, too
I, truly, hate, you, all!

You can never corrupt me again!
Time has come to step up
And take back what you took from me!

One day I'm gonna forget your name,
One sweet day, you're gonna drown in my lost pain.

I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming

Am I too lost
To be saved?

Wake me up inside!
Save me,
Call my name and save me from the dark!
Bid my blood to run
Before I come undone,
Save me from the nothing I've become!

Lead me down to the sea
To where the sirens call and where the waves are raging free
Sing for me, all of your sweetest melodies
And then let me drown into your arms, into the sea

I tied myself to the wheel
The winds talk to my sails, not me
”Come to me”
Somewhere there my fate revealed
I hear but how will I see?

A siren from the deep came to me
Sang my name my longing

“Come out, come out wherever you are
So lost in your sea
Give in, give in for my touch
For my taste, for my lust”

Don’t give me love, don’t give me faith,
Wisdom nor pride, give innocence instead!
Don’t give me love, I’ve had my share,
Beauty nor rest, give me truth instead!

“Come, cover me with you,
For the thrill
Till you will take me in!
Come, comfort me in you,
Young love must
Live twice only for us!”

Your beauty cascaded on me
In this white night fantasy…

Teach me passion for I fear it`s gone
Show me love, hold the lorn!

I see reflections of me in your eye, oh please,
Talk to me, show some pity!
You touch me in many, many ways,
But I'm shy can't you see?

The hopes were high,
The choirs were vast,
Now my dreams are left to live through you.

Oh how I wish
For soothing rain
All I wish is to dream again!
My loving heart,
Lost in the dark.
For hope I'd give my everything!

Ever felt away with me,
Just once that all I need,
Entwined in finding you one day.
Ever felt away without me,
My love, it lies so deep,
Ever dream of me!

Suddenly i know i'm not sleeping.

Maybe I'll wake up for once…

Soon i know i'll wake from this dream.

No, I don't want to let you go.
Tonight I fear I'll say goodbye to my little friend.
Don't want to let you go.

I know I’d better stop trying
You know that there’s no denying
I won’t show mercy on you now
I know, should stop believing
I know, there’s no retrieving
”It’s over now, what have you done?”

Still I sit in diner Citylight, drinking coffee or reading lies
Turn my head and I can see you, could that really be you?

“My word and world holds ground and is real
Your world is like floods of poisoned water
A language spoken with spit from different tongues”

But why was I saved? What else can I do now?
”Your death saved me”

You can never corrupt me again!
Time has come to step up
And take back what you took from me.

What will you see with your innocence there?

How will you see when the truth is blinding?

Where will you be when the dark is rising?

Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"

Now it snows in hell
I've gone away but I've got you in my heart
All frozen and scarred.

You shouldn't visit, me at my grave
My hands will grab you through the dirt
I giveth - I taketh away
Witness my rebirth from the devils churn.

"Facing this unbearable fear like meeting an old friend"
Time to die, poor mates, You made me what I am!

Oh, do you care,
I still feel for you
Oh, so aware,
What should be lost is there

“Hello, I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday”

Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.
As a friend, as a friend, as an old Enemy.
Take your time, hurry up, choice is yours, don't be late.
Take a rest, as a friend, as an old Enemy.

“Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric away
And dance out to the moon
As we did in those golden days”

How can I ever feel again?
Given the chance would I return?

Can I steal your mind for a while?
Can I stop your heart for a while?
Can I freeze your soul and your time?
Scorpion flower!

I tried to kill the pain,
But only brought more (so much more!)

So much more I wanted to give to the ones who love me...
I`m sorry!

“You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent”

And you... I wish I didn`t feel for you anymore...

“Don't cry to me.
If you loved me,
You would be here with me.
You want me,
Come find me.
Make up your mind.”

Why am I loved only when I'm gone?
Gone back in time to bless the child.

Think of me long enough to make a memory,
Come bless the child one more time !

First day of love never comes back
A passionate hour`s never a wasted one
The violin, the poet`s hand,
Every thawing heart plays your theme with care.

 “Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the bind of your holiness
I could always find the right slot for your sacred key”

There are seven doors within my dreams
I've found them all, but still no key!

(Hear the sirens of the sea
They're calling for our hearts and they will have them eventually
Sing for me, all sirens of the seven seas
Take me away, lead me astray in your deceitful ways! )